Hopeful parents of all backgrounds pursue egg donation for different reasons. When we think of egg donation, the typical image might be of a couple who has struggled with infertility or a same-sex couple seeking someone to contribute eggs. While these scenarios are common, more and more men and women are pursuing egg donation and sperm donation to start families on their own.
While the conversation in popular culture has opened up to highlight women becoming single mothers by choice via sperm donation, there is far less awareness around the men doing the same thing. We spoke to Ben*, a Tulip Premium member, to learn more about the egg donation process as a single father.
Why do single men choose egg donation?
Our team has worked with several single fathers who are ready for parenthood, but haven’t found the right partner. One Tulip Premium member, Ben, describes his experience. “I’ve always known I wanted kids. I thought that I would have the traditional nuclear family by now, and honestly, I still really want that. But I started getting the feeling that it would take a long time to find my partner, and I’ve been ready to start a family for a while.”
So why choose egg donation? Ben shares, “Actually, I looked into adoption and other routes as well. I really believe adoption is an amazing option, but it does seem like they’re looking for that traditional family unit to adopt. When you’re a single parent, it’s a lot more difficult to go that path.” While single-parent adoption has been legal in the United States since the 1960’s, Joyce Morse of Adoption.org shares that adoption approval is “even more challenging for the single person” and “it’s even tougher for men who wish to adopt.” In comparison, egg donation is a strong option for many men to become single fathers.
How can you become a single father through egg donation?
Hopeful fathers-to-be can begin the egg donation process and search egg donor candidates just like anyone else. Through Tulip, you will have access to thousands of diverse egg donor candidates, and the support of a Tulip Fertility coach to walk you through your egg donor selection. (P.S. your first month of Tulip Premium is free!)
When becoming a single father via egg donation, you will need a gestational carrier to carry your child. The egg donation process will remain the same, but the fertilized embryos will be transferred to your gestational carrier in place of the intended mother.
Ben’s advice for hopeful single fathers
“I signed up for Tulip before fully deciding that I wanted an egg donor. I had begun to make that decision of starting a family without a partner, and it was a little bit nerve-wracking. I told myself that I would just look at egg donation as an option and start to see what egg donors were out there with Tulip. I worried that there might be some of the same issues as adoption, but my coach and the agencies seemed really open and understanding.” As Ben began his search on Tulip, he started considering egg donation more seriously. “I started telling my family that I wanted to use an egg donor and surrogate to start my family. They were a little surprised, but really supportive. That gave me more confidence to move forward, even knowing the family I start might not exactly be traditional.”
“My advice? Just start. From far away, egg donation seems like this daunting choice. But once you get going with the process, you become a lot more comfortable. I think my coach helped with that too, and the agency has been awesome. I started out not knowing what I was looking for in an egg donor, and fast forward to now – well, I found one! Thank you Tulip!”
*Name has been changed to ensure member’s privacy.
